Good ad, bad ad: The shower test

“Quiet everyone… Shhhh.”

Jacob “Wiz of Ads” Morris holds up an envelope.

“Sam... you’ve picked Ad A. Before I open this, are you SURE?”

“Of course I’m sure. I’ve been running ads for over ten years. I wrote a book about it. I even bought this fancy new suit! Yes, I’m sure.”

Jacob turns toward the camera.

“Welcome back to GOOD AD, BAD AD! The game show where you find out whether you should be trusted with the client’s credit card.”

[ APPLAUSE ]

Sam waves.

“Hi, Morgan! Hi, kids!”

“Let’s put the ads back up,” Jacob says. “Give everyone at home a chance to play.”

[ TWO ADS FILL THE SCREEN ]

“Tonight’s imaginary matchup: two ads for the same bathroom remodeler. Same local market. Same budget. Both offer an estimate to replace your tub with a walk-in shower.”

Jacob points to AD A.

Beautiful bathroom photo. Perfect lighting. Tasteful logo.

The headline?

“Elevate Your Everyday.”

A smaller line underneath offers a tub-to-shower estimate.

A woman in the front row nudges her husband.

“That would look nice in our bathroom.”

Sam gestures toward her.

“She gets it!”

He winks.

Jacob pauses... then rolls his eyes and steps over to AD B.

A simple photo of a walk-in shower.

The headline:

“Still Climbing Over Your Tub To Take A Shower?”

Underneath:

“See what it would cost to replace your tub with a walk-in shower.”

“One looks like it belongs in a magazine,” Sam says. “The other wants to talk about... knees?”

“And that’s why you picked A?”

“It looks professional. If somebody’s tearing apart my bathroom, I’d like to think they know what they’re doing.”

Jacob nods.

“Fair enough. Those of you at home... which one gets your vote?”

[ THEME MUSIC PLAYS ]

Sam folds his arms and waits.

Jacob opens the envelope.

“For our fictional results, each ad spent $600. Ad A brought in...”

[ DRUMROLL ]

“Two... just two estimate appointments.”

Sam’s smile... now a blank stare.

“Ad B brought in... SIX!”

[ DING! DING! DING! ]

Confetti rains down.

Sam brushes a piece off his shoulder.

“Did we really need confetti? Who’s the producer here?”

“Ad B wins!!!”

“Hang on. Two appointments is still something.”

“It is... yes. But would you like two appointments, or six for the exact same money?”

“I’d like another envelope, you piece of...”

Sam spots his kids in the audience and swallows the rest.

Jacob sets the card on Sam’s podium.

“Sam... tell me what you liked about A.”

“The photo. The whole thing looks expensive. I thought that would make people trust the company.”

“And it might. But look at B. Who’s going to recognize themselves in that headline?”

Sam reads it again.

“Somebody who’s tired of stepping over their tub.”

“What are they being offered?”

“A shower they can walk into.”

“And before they go ahead with that?”

“They’d want to know what it costs.”

Jacob taps the line underneath.

“See... good ads are accurate.”

Sam looks back at A.

“To be fair, A offers an estimate too.”

“It does. But it leads with ‘Elevate Your Everyday.’ What does that mean?”

Sam studies the headline.

“…A taller toilet?”

A laugh escapes from the front row. The same lady!

Jacob points back to B.

“This one gets straight to something the homeowner might actually want help with.”

“Okay,” Sam says. “I got a little distracted by how nice A looked.”

[ CAMERA MOVES IN FOR A CLOSE-UP ]

“Uh, can we go back to the wide shot please?”

Jacob turns to the other camera.

“And now... a word from our sponsor.”

[ CHEERFUL MUSIC. UPHEX LOGO. ]

An announcer’s voice fills the studio.

“Does your ad have a beautiful logo? Exquisite lighting? A font that took three meetings to approve?

“Does anyone know what you’re selling?”

Sam looks toward the control booth.

“Okay... who wrote this?”

“Try UpHex. Browse campaigns for what your client sells, customize one, and launch an offer their customers can understand.

“A new shower. An estimate. A reason to raise their hand.

“Something a little more specific than ‘Elevate Your Everyday.’”

Sam folds his arms.

“We’ve made the point, I think.”

The music fades.

Then, much faster:

“Fancy suit sold separately. Customer response matters more than contestant confidence.”

[ BACK TO THE STUDIO ]

Jacob smiles.

“Thank you to our sponsor.”

Sam looks straight into the camera.

“This show is rigged.”

Sam "clear ads work" Carlson

P.S. Next time on GOOD AD, BAD AD: people are clicking, nobody’s inquiring, and the client wants a new ad. We’ve invited the landing page to explain itself.